in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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