I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
