I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
