At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
