grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
