you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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