Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
