yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
where are you?
Hypothermia
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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