when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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