and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
