office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
