You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
