Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm always down for nudity.
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