You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
