Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
