would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
