I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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