The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
