im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
