Your face is a jimmy john
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
