everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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