if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
