The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
