shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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