What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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