jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my sisters under your porch take her home
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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