Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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