Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
