Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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