just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
