Banned from zoo.
Again?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
