Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
