My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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