so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
