2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
