I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
