im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
