i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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