I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
