Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
