Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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