Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
