a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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