so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
