i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
