If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
