id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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