You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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