"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
