It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
