Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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